Once Again

One more time, I find myself in New York for a follow up visit with my doctor. I tried to merge this trip with enjoyable things to make it seem less crazy to me. I spent the weekend with LT and her new baby girl, then onto NYC where I stayed with MM and her family. Definitely one of the better side effects of frequent trips to the East Coast is the ability to see my friends there more often. Still, the box that I put myself in of traveling across the country for a doctors visit seems so insane to me, but I also think that having come to MSKCC was one of my better decisions and if this is the residual side effect, so be it. I now know that there are lots of people who do this- travel all over the country for their sarcoma care. Rare diseases tend to foster that kind of thing.

My last three trips to New York have been filled with fear on my part. A fear that was at times so palpable. The fear that I would lose my leg, lose my strength and independence, lose the ability to do what I want etc. Those fears are more or less completely behind me, and I have regained the strength necessary to do most things so I am filled with a confidence that it is all fine. That confidence comes from a place that believes that positive energy will impact my care and recovery. After all one month ago I was diving in Hawaii and relishing that ability and that gift. As I have said before life is beautiful and I enjoy it more deeply now.

So once again my doctor’s visit is a footnote on my trip to New York. Again I have to say how much I like and respect her. She examined me thoroughly including my now infected cyst on my face, she listened to my issues. She contends that I am ahead of schedule and she is extremely impressed by how strong my ankle has become again, and by how much I can do again. She has concurred essentially to the concept of unrestricted physical activity (within reason of course). She is pleased with how my graft looks. She even is surprised that I am regaining sensation to my heel at all, apparently she thought that would be gone forever. She has decided that since my chest xray is clear still (almost 1 year out), I can and should change my scan period to every year. So, I get a reprieve until next spring. Say Hallielulia. I feel so fortunate to have been able to make these journeys to New York, to have found a surgeon who actually gets me, if the cost of that is flying across the country, well then OK by me. My life is good I say, indeed it is good.