And boredom begins to set in..

I have been out of the hospital almost a week, and I must be feeling better becuase I am starting to get bored. Life in the Kelly hotel has a rhythm, nice and predictable; however, I feel like the couch might become attached to my bottom, i have spent so many hours sitting on it, but alas here I sit even now. This morning, I set a record by actually getting out of bed before 9 am, to make it to an 8:45 doctors appointment. The good news is that lefty is healing well. The plastic surgeons came to look at my wound and they are happy with the progress although it still has a long way to go. We negotiated our way to an agreed upon start date for radiation, which should hopefully, allow for me to start working on range of motion stuff first. Now we just have to find the right place for me to go in LA to get my foot zapped. However, my doctor still doesn't quite seem to get my sense of humor because she looked at me like I crazy when I asked if I could start using my crutches more to get some exercise. Oh well, I guess I have more couch time coming. I will just have to be happy with the progress that I am making and conitnue my wheelchair exercise.

Hello Lefty- it is nice of you to register

Out of the hospital for 3 days and apparently, I have a social schedule. Thursday, my friend Kim took the train down from Ct. where she is visiting her family for a week. She was treated to the site of me in a wheelchair upon arrival to our hotel and then forced into duty helping me with my first solo dressing change. We carefully went through the whole procedure and studied my foot along the way; however, I was nervous that I would do anything wrong, so we went slowly and methodically. She and her friend, Leeanne, then took me out for a walk. It was so great to be outside and fortunately not too cold yesterday. We wrapped lefty in my mom's red scraf to keep it warm, but it really seemed to signal oversized load- note foot sticking out. See below.



Here we are on Park Ave


Other than that life in the Kelly hotel room has found a rhythm. We have played many games of Gin Rummy which are often filled with great laughter as my dad hums the Battle Hymn of Republic much to my mom's and my dismay. We have also doven into a puzzle, the whole thing reminds me of many a New Years Eve at my Aunt and Uncle's cabin in Lake Arrowhead when we used to challenge ourselved to ever more difficult puzzles while hoping to have snow fall so we could play try to kill ourselves on the tobaggon and then we would play huge games of Oh Hell. But I digress. All of these pursuits are passing time nicely. Plus, I have been lucky to have many visitors to help take some pressure off of my parents and break up the time. Yesterday, Tricia, today LT (formely LW). It is funny how much I focussed on 5 days of bed confinement, and yet it never really dawned on me that after bed rest would come--- more immobility. I am still supposed to keep my foot elevated at all times, and I really am pretty much relegated to the wheelchair for locomotion. Oh well, it was minus 3 outside yesterday with the windchill, I don't think I missed mush.


My mom and dad hard at work on the puzzle

In more exciting news yesterday, I was changing my dressing with more attention to my foot than the day before, when all of a sudden I touched my heel while applying the quaze and I FELT IT. Somehow, it registerred to me, OH, MY GOD, I CAN FEEL MYSELF TOUCHING MY FOOT. I exclaimed with great joy to my mom. I can feel my heel and then I suddenly broke into uncontrollable sobs. I knew that the doctor said she had been able to spare the nerves, but she had to completely strip them all of their covering, and really I hven't felt my heel normally sinse my last surgery so I had very low expectations for sensation to my heel. But somehow, that slow registering of the fact that I could feel my heel just overtook me. I know that it will be a long road back, but this - this is a major relief. SO, lefty thanks for registering with my brain.

Out of the Hospital

Last night when I was falling asleep, I was nervous about the unveling of the foot and what if something had gone wrong etc., ect. My mind was doing its refusal to shut down routine. However, with the help of my night pain meds, I finally got some sleep.

This morning, I woke up like a kid on Christmas, filled with anticipation and anxious to see lefty again. The plastic surgeons showed up around 7:30 and removed the vacuum version 2 and the unveiling proceeded without a hitch. Everyone says that the graft looks successful and that it should heal in well. That is good, because right now it still looks like I have a hole in my foot. However, I am sure that it will heal beautifully. So, the official word was given at 7:45 am, I could leave. I couldn't hurry everyone along enough and finally at 2 pm we were ready to leave. My friend, Tricia, showed up at the hospital to drive us to the hotel (a whole 6 blocks, but we are from California and we had a lot of stuff, and I can't walk) and we loaded me, my parents, a wheelchair, crutches, my stuff, flowers, balloons etc. into Tricia's car and drove the 1/2 mile to the hotel where the whole procedure was repeated. I loved feeling the crisp air when we were out briefly and coming into the hotel room that doesn't smell like hospital. Yeah, for surviving 5 days of bedrest. Yeah, for surviving 13 days and 12 nights in the hospital. Yeah, for my family and friends who have kept me sane through it all.



Me and my friend Vas, who flew down from Pittsburgh to be with us the first week on the day she left.

Tomorrow I leave the hospital

Twelve days ago, I arrived at this hospital and prepared myself for my surgery. I knew there was a possibility that I would stay for as long as two weeks, but I never really thought it would be so long. Now here we are getting ready to leave on hospital day 13, Wednesday. Today, bedrest day 4, we started making arrangements to leave. The wheelchair arrived in my room, I chose the crutches over the walker, we arranged for a commode for the hotel, and it hit me- Oh my God, I need a WHEELCHAIR, CRUTCHES, AND A COMMODE JUST TO STAY IN A HOTEL ROOM. Hello, is this a cruel joke? However, sadly this is all true. I have done my exercises and I will do them as instructed (and prove that doctors can be good patients), but I have been in a bed for 4 days which is a feat I never thought that I would accomplish, so I know that I will do what it takes to get back on my feet as quick as possible.

Back to twelve days in the hospital… I have always known that the nurses are the front line. At work, I fully realize that while I may be in charge of the team it is the nurses, residents, fellows etc. that carry out the plan. Seeing it from the perspective of a patient is interesting. Here has been my schedule. I am awoken every morning by the ortho team (fellow, resident and NP), around 7 am we discuss how the night went etc. then they leave to be followed by the plastics team. All this before 8 am, then for the rest of the day I interact with the nurses, nurses aides, Physical therapy, nutrition people etc. who take care of many an unspeakable activity of daily living. Then sometime in the evening, my doctor comes by and we talk about the big picture. Then the night comes and the whole thing repeats itself. My questions have all been answered and my needs met and another day begins greeted by my night nurses who bring me my left over yogurt at 6am so my pain meds don’t make me sick. That has been my schedule for the last 12 days. So, while I know I am very thankful for the care of my doctor, she I will be in contact for the next couple of years, but I want to publically (or at least in the blogger world) thank my nurses, Pt, etc. who have been so great and have made these last two weeks bearable. …. Tom, Peggy, Dana, Elli, Jill, Vicki, Rita, Veronica and Estelle- Thank you so much. Tomorrow I get out of here!!!!

Even St. Paul Says My Body Has to Support Lefty…

It may seem a little strange to many that I have started to think of my extremities as independent personalities banding together in the battle for lefty. Maybe it is the pain meds, or maybe it is spending hours in a hospital bed thinking about issues related to your left foot. Then maybe it is hours doing physical therapy designed to strengthen your arms and remaining leg so that they can take over for lefty, while doing separate exercises on the lefty so that it has some strength when you get to start using it, well I guess you see my point.

My dad came back from church today with proof that I am not the first to think this way. The reading at mass was a letter from St. Paul to the Corinthians (probably another letter that the Corinthians didn’t answer*) describing how the individual parts of the body have each a separate purpose and that they combine together to become more than they could be individually. As St. Paul says, “If a foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand I do not belong to the body,’ it does not for this reason belong any less to the body. ….God placed the parts, each one of them, in the body as he intended. If they were all one part, where would the body be? But as it is, there are many parts, and yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand ‘I do not need you.’ Nor the head to the (left) foot, ’I do not need you.’ …..If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all parts share its joy.” So, there you have it even St. Paul in one of his unanswered letters claims that the rest of my body has to bond together to support lefty(St. Paul also had a deeper meaning).


*My dad, courtesy of cousin Bob, has this joke about some guy arriving at the pearly gates and asking to see St. Paul. Which surprises St. Peter as most people ask to meet others higher on the totem pole, but this guy wants to meet St. Paul. When they finally locate him and bring him to the pearly gates, the guy asks St. Paul only one question, “did the Corinthians ever answer any of your letters”?

Confinement to Bed: Day 1

Lefty now has skin coverage courtesy of a generous gift from my thigh. Unfortunately, the thigh seems to have gotten the short end of the stick because it is what really hurts right now as the doctor predicted. So, I have officially been on pure bed rest for almost 24 hours, and it is no fun. There is nothing like seeing what you want, but it is just out of your reach so you have to push the little call button and wait for someone to come and get it for you, to really drive a highly independent person completely crazy. However, it is made easier by the fact that yesterday my doctor somehow convinced bed reservation to give me a private room. So, we all (meaning me, lefty and the other extremities who all seem to have become personalities in this tale) enjoyed a good night sleep without listening to a roommate’s snoring, talking, TV watching, inability to turn out the light or any number of other non sleep conducive things that I am sure I did to them also.

Let me tell you a little something about life from “behind the curtain” at a big cancer hospital. For the past week, I have sat on one side of the curtain dividing the room with my friends and family as we talked, laughed, cried, prayed etc, while there was another family living out parallel experiences on the other side of the curtain. You try not to eavesdrop to respect each other’s privacy, but there is just no way as the rooms are too small. The experience has left me with the following thought: if you ever think that the deck of cards you are being dealt stinks, then spend a week on the “otherside of the curtain” on the neuro/ortho ward at a cancer hospital to realize that you don’t have it so bad after all. I wish all of my hospital roommates and their families health and peace as they continue their journeys.

Back to the OR

First the good news the pathology on the new resection was negative, meaning they didn’t see any more tumor and the margins were free of cancer. So, hopefully, after radiation this whole thing will be behind me. I feel like a million prayers have been answered and the process of recovery seems somehow much easier with this news in mind. Still don’t get me wrong crutches stink, but it is much easier to focus on the whole recovery thing not thinking what if there is more that they have to take. So, on to the long road to being back on my feet. Lefty, you are going to have to earn your wages as a full member of my extremities.

The first step is to have a plastic surgeon cover the large hole in my foot ( the one covered by the vacuum wrap) with skin from my thigh. So, back to the operating room I go tomorrow to cover lefty back up. Then I will get to spend 5 days in bed. Yes, in bed only, no chair privileges, no bathroom privileges, no privileges at all except I will be able to sit up in bed. Oh so fun for me. Once again, my parents will be back on blog duty. So long for now. Wish me well tomorrow.

Comments by Dad;

It is now Sat. morning and we have talked that the hotel we moved into on Wed that we deserve free internet so no more Starbucks, bad news for the Starbucks shareholders. Lefty's 7AM OR appointment yesterday took place at 5PM. Everything went well and when she returned to the hospital room for her five days in bed she had been moved to a private room which should be a big help. We will her bring back the computer for her more extensive update later today.