I HAVE A SQUIRREL IN MY CLOSET
I heard a loud crash from my office two days ago. I never investigated because - well I didn't. Anyway, this morning, I was working form home when Sadie became very interested in my office closet. Smelling and pawing at the ground etc. So, I opened the closet doors to see a brown bushy tail sneak behind my vacuum cleaner. Sadie ever the brave dog, ran the other way and hid under my bed. I told the squirrel I wanted him to go away, but two hours later, he is still here. UCK
The company that did my fumigation said they only deal with other rodents- not squirrels. RATS- or better SQUIRRELS
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
"Thank you for my life"
Last weekend, my hospital held its biannual NICU reunion in Griffith Park. It was a wonderful event that reminded me of exactly why it is that I do my job. I know I complain about the bad stuff a lot. The bad stuff eats at me, which is why I complain, but, as evidenced by Sat, the good stuff is so good it makes up for the bad. I just need to be reminded of the good more often.
Our patient reunion was a BIG event, lovingly put together by our wonderful nursing staff. There were around 400+ people there and many, many former patients. It was really nice to get to visit with the families and see how their little ones were doing often times years after leaving our care. Most of the time, I couldn't recognize the kids, just the parents- not shocking as the kids were babies when they left. There was more then one family where I had to ask the parents which of their beautiful children was with us. One family in particular was convinced that their NICU graduate, who was so sick with a bad viral infection at birth, must have gotten "smart blood" in at least one of multiple blood transfusions because they think she is their smartest. I don't know about that, but it was wonderful to see this little girl, now 3, who spent days on deaths doorstep, indistinguishable from her beautiful siblings.
However, the title of this post comes from a different family. This was a family whose little boy spent at least 6 months with us and his twin sister at least 2. During that time, I was the boys primary attending and got to bond with their wonderful parents. The little kids were born preterm with the boy having complex congenital heart disease on top of being preterm. Henceforth, why he was in the hospital for so long. He certainly had bad days, and days where we weren't sure if he would survive, but survive he did. They are three and half years old now, and while I was talking to their mom, the kids were running around us, playing some imaginary game that required a lot of jumping and tagging of benches, the dogs and us. They looked great, like any other set of three year olds, except that the little boy is definately small, but alas he is a veteran of 3 major open heart surgeries not to mention a few other things. As we concluded our conversation, their mom prompted them both to give me a hug and a kiss. She asked the little boy to say "thank you for saving my life". He walked right over to me, climbed into my lap, gave me a kiss on the cheek and said "thank you for my life." I got all teary. The three year olds change in syntax by just leaving out one word, is what I strive for in my job. I doubt if he got that, but it was still so touching. You see, saving a life- connotes to me, keeping someone alive. However, a life- connotes the appreciation and interaction of all that this wonderful world has to offer, a future, a loving family, and clearly for him great joy at playing with his twin. It isn't just that he is alive, it is that he is alive and thriving in a miraculous way. That at least is what it meant to me.
There are so many other wonderful stories from that day, as it was such a joy to see our former patients gathered in one spot. That should keep me going for awhile.
Our patient reunion was a BIG event, lovingly put together by our wonderful nursing staff. There were around 400+ people there and many, many former patients. It was really nice to get to visit with the families and see how their little ones were doing often times years after leaving our care. Most of the time, I couldn't recognize the kids, just the parents- not shocking as the kids were babies when they left. There was more then one family where I had to ask the parents which of their beautiful children was with us. One family in particular was convinced that their NICU graduate, who was so sick with a bad viral infection at birth, must have gotten "smart blood" in at least one of multiple blood transfusions because they think she is their smartest. I don't know about that, but it was wonderful to see this little girl, now 3, who spent days on deaths doorstep, indistinguishable from her beautiful siblings.
However, the title of this post comes from a different family. This was a family whose little boy spent at least 6 months with us and his twin sister at least 2. During that time, I was the boys primary attending and got to bond with their wonderful parents. The little kids were born preterm with the boy having complex congenital heart disease on top of being preterm. Henceforth, why he was in the hospital for so long. He certainly had bad days, and days where we weren't sure if he would survive, but survive he did. They are three and half years old now, and while I was talking to their mom, the kids were running around us, playing some imaginary game that required a lot of jumping and tagging of benches, the dogs and us. They looked great, like any other set of three year olds, except that the little boy is definately small, but alas he is a veteran of 3 major open heart surgeries not to mention a few other things. As we concluded our conversation, their mom prompted them both to give me a hug and a kiss. She asked the little boy to say "thank you for saving my life". He walked right over to me, climbed into my lap, gave me a kiss on the cheek and said "thank you for my life." I got all teary. The three year olds change in syntax by just leaving out one word, is what I strive for in my job. I doubt if he got that, but it was still so touching. You see, saving a life- connotes to me, keeping someone alive. However, a life- connotes the appreciation and interaction of all that this wonderful world has to offer, a future, a loving family, and clearly for him great joy at playing with his twin. It isn't just that he is alive, it is that he is alive and thriving in a miraculous way. That at least is what it meant to me.
There are so many other wonderful stories from that day, as it was such a joy to see our former patients gathered in one spot. That should keep me going for awhile.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
You have to move out for 3 days
What to do?
Termites moved into my house. I wanted them out and despite my desire ot do so nontoxically, I gave in and got my house fumigated
Above is my house covered in its tarp while toxic chemicals were pumped inside. Thus leaving me with 3 days for Sadie and I to while away elsewhere. Sadie was easy, she went to the mountains with my parents. I decided to do nothing so simplistic. I took off on a brief tour of the southwest.
Day/NIght 1- I had to work. I had to pay for the fumigation somehow. I spent the night at the hospital and took care of my little charges.
Day 2 I wen tot my gradfather and did a puzzle with him and then loaded myself into the car and drove to Vegas where i met up with some friends. we stayed at the Bellagio and got to watch this out of out window.
Then we went across the street to Planet Hollywood and saw Sheryl Crow in concert. James Blunt opened for her and it was a fantastic show. Our seats were awesome and Sheryl Crow is amazing live. Then i played black jack.
Day 3- After wandering aroudn the strip for a little while I loaded back up into my car and drove to Lake Arrowhead. Spent the night there. Sadie helped me ski and we went for a hike.
Day 4- back home, dirty, tired just wanting a bath I discovered that the gas company had neglected to turn my gas back on like they were supposed to and i had to take cold showers. Hence the letter below. Oh well, my gas is now back on and i had a great weekend even if I drove close to 800 miles. It was fun. Thanks
Above is my house covered in its tarp while toxic chemicals were pumped inside. Thus leaving me with 3 days for Sadie and I to while away elsewhere. Sadie was easy, she went to the mountains with my parents. I decided to do nothing so simplistic. I took off on a brief tour of the southwest.
Day/NIght 1- I had to work. I had to pay for the fumigation somehow. I spent the night at the hospital and took care of my little charges.
Day 2 I wen tot my gradfather and did a puzzle with him and then loaded myself into the car and drove to Vegas where i met up with some friends. we stayed at the Bellagio and got to watch this out of out window.
Then we went across the street to Planet Hollywood and saw Sheryl Crow in concert. James Blunt opened for her and it was a fantastic show. Our seats were awesome and Sheryl Crow is amazing live. Then i played black jack.
Day 3- After wandering aroudn the strip for a little while I loaded back up into my car and drove to Lake Arrowhead. Spent the night there. Sadie helped me ski and we went for a hike.
Day 4- back home, dirty, tired just wanting a bath I discovered that the gas company had neglected to turn my gas back on like they were supposed to and i had to take cold showers. Hence the letter below. Oh well, my gas is now back on and i had a great weekend even if I drove close to 800 miles. It was fun. Thanks
Monday, August 25, 2008
Open Letter to the Gas Company
Dear Gas Company,
I hate you, you are incompetent. I wish you had competition.
GRRRRRRRRR
Love, Lisa
I hate you, you are incompetent. I wish you had competition.
GRRRRRRRRR
Love, Lisa
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Maybe this is the reason
When I went through my list of can I do the following things again with my doctor- there was one things that both she and my friendly sarcoma doc both balked at, which was water skiing. The concern being that Lefty is strapped into a tight boot and might not come out if I fell putting too much torque on my poor little ankle. I didn't push the issue too much because I hadn't really been water skiing for a long time and i had really lost that skill not because of my ankle and surgeries and radiation etc., but because I let myself get fat and out of shape. However, over the past few months as I have watched skiers go around Lake Arrowhead, I started to long to ski again. I repeated my doctors advice to many people trying to not make me feel so bad and make me believe it, but I have to admit that I really wanted to try. Then a couple of weeks ago I had abunch of friends up to Arrowhead and I had offered to take anyone skiing or wakeboarding who wanted to go. After a couple of hours of pulling several people who wanted to ski (successfully teaching one who had never done it before), I really wanted to get in the water. Then the two people who were successful hatched the plan of getting up early the next day to ski on smooth water, so I hatched my own plan to ski again. I put my ski in the boat, convinced a friend to drive and off I went. Sitting in the water behind the boat ready to start I felt confident and happy. When I got up just like i had done it yesterday, I grinned from ear to ear. I swerved in and of the wake completely in control. Lefty handled it with no problem, and I rejoiced. I debated keeping it a secret because I didn't want to deal with people getting mad at me, but I couldn't. I am too happy about it. I even convinced my dad to pull me yesterday and my watching parents smiled too.
This somehow seems so monumental because this I got back through hard work and determination in the gym. I can water ski again because I have gotten myself back in shape. I work out on average 5 days a week, i have lifted more weight then I would have thought possible. I have done some crazy exercises and it is paying off. Today, the following thought occurred to me.... In the early days of getting my diagnosis, i felt that someday I'd realize the reason behind this whole thing. I believed that there was a purpose, if only I could find it. Now, I think maybe the purpose was to jolt me out of complacency at letting myself get fat and lazy and make me get fit. If that is to be the good that is to come out this, I'll take it.
This somehow seems so monumental because this I got back through hard work and determination in the gym. I can water ski again because I have gotten myself back in shape. I work out on average 5 days a week, i have lifted more weight then I would have thought possible. I have done some crazy exercises and it is paying off. Today, the following thought occurred to me.... In the early days of getting my diagnosis, i felt that someday I'd realize the reason behind this whole thing. I believed that there was a purpose, if only I could find it. Now, I think maybe the purpose was to jolt me out of complacency at letting myself get fat and lazy and make me get fit. If that is to be the good that is to come out this, I'll take it.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
My surreal life
My job sometimes has these incredible surreal moments. Things that feel like they are out of body experiences or just plan so strange that they must have been dreamed up by a Hollywood writer, but no they really happen.
Today, I was having a meeting with a mom whose baby is dying. We were talking about how there is nothing more that we can do for her and about starting to limit some of our treatments. The poor mom is devastated and alone because her husband is driving back from out of state where they live. Then all of a sudden the ground starts shaking, and only gets stronger. The poor woman grabs me with this look of horror in her eyes. "What else could happen today she asks" What else indeed...
There is no happy ending to this story except that the dad made it and didn't feel the Earthquake, and everyone else is OK. Another earthquake day in LA. I miss my school days when Earthquakes usually meant we got to go home early.
Today, I was having a meeting with a mom whose baby is dying. We were talking about how there is nothing more that we can do for her and about starting to limit some of our treatments. The poor mom is devastated and alone because her husband is driving back from out of state where they live. Then all of a sudden the ground starts shaking, and only gets stronger. The poor woman grabs me with this look of horror in her eyes. "What else could happen today she asks" What else indeed...
There is no happy ending to this story except that the dad made it and didn't feel the Earthquake, and everyone else is OK. Another earthquake day in LA. I miss my school days when Earthquakes usually meant we got to go home early.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Survivor?
The other day I was at a friends pool party/ bar b que. It was the kind of party where I only knew the hostess and her family, but not the other people there. Fine, I can make conversation with just about anyone. After swimming with my ankle wrapped in an ace wrap to keep the sun off of it, I hid in the shade as the rest of me can't take too much sun either and unwrapped my ankle and settled down to interesting conversation and a glass of wine. Then this nice woman whom I had just met asks me what happened to my ankle. I was about to give one of my non-answers when my friend replied, she had cancer and thought for a little while she might lose her leg, but look at her now. This other woman then says, something like- Oh you're a cancer survivor that's incredible. To which I had to take pause.
Cancer survivor- not a label I apply to myself. The very term seems off to me. The whole concept of survivor is final- like there is a great battle and you survived it, or some natural disaster, or some other calamity. My point being an event which you live through and then it is gone, but I am not so sure if I see my sarcoma as that kind of an event, since I still have to get all of these scans every 6 months and every morning my ankle reminds me that it isn't normal. Plus, the concept of survivor is that you were in danger of not living- right? Well that is something, I never ever considered in this whole event. I worried about how disabled I'd be, how much pain, how much of my active life style I'd get back, but no I never thought that I was not going to survive this whole thing. Therefore, to me- it is no surprise that I am here in better shape than I have been in years. So what to do with the label. My normal response is to ignore such comments, but nonetheless it got me thinking. Am I just an eternal optimist or do people not really understand. I never saw myself as a cancer patient, so I guess it isn't shocking that I can't see myself as a cancer survivor. Am I in denial? Hmmm
Cancer survivor- not a label I apply to myself. The very term seems off to me. The whole concept of survivor is final- like there is a great battle and you survived it, or some natural disaster, or some other calamity. My point being an event which you live through and then it is gone, but I am not so sure if I see my sarcoma as that kind of an event, since I still have to get all of these scans every 6 months and every morning my ankle reminds me that it isn't normal. Plus, the concept of survivor is that you were in danger of not living- right? Well that is something, I never ever considered in this whole event. I worried about how disabled I'd be, how much pain, how much of my active life style I'd get back, but no I never thought that I was not going to survive this whole thing. Therefore, to me- it is no surprise that I am here in better shape than I have been in years. So what to do with the label. My normal response is to ignore such comments, but nonetheless it got me thinking. Am I just an eternal optimist or do people not really understand. I never saw myself as a cancer patient, so I guess it isn't shocking that I can't see myself as a cancer survivor. Am I in denial? Hmmm
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