I thought this day would never come!!

I started physical therapy in July 2006. My ortho and PT both wanted me to work on my core strength in preparation for my surgery and we thought it might help my back pain. Thus I started working with my friendly PT, Jonathan. Who knew how long I would be working with him, but who knew a lot of things. In the last year and a half I have taken a couple of breaks from PT (ie. for my surgeries in New York, when radiation kicked my tail etc.) but pretty much I have been there twice a week for a year and a half. These people have become friends; Jonathan a good friend, coach and cheerleader. I have complained about the exercises that he has me do and how much they hurt, but the results are obvious. Last week he had me doing lunges while standing on a dynadisc ( a sort of flat, non- slippery ball kind of thing). My personal trainer declared that my balance must be awesome if I could do that, and yes my balance is pretty darn good now. So, alas here we have arrived at the point where all good things must come to an end. We have decided to space out my last few appointments so we can see how I do with my home routine etc. So, next week for the first time in 6 months I don't have a PT appt. I can hardly believe it. What will I do with the time? While I am so happy that this means I am better and stronger all of which is good. I really well miss them. So long for now. Thanks for all your help.

I spoke too soon

So, a short 6 hours after I wrote my last post and I am resting on the couch icing Lefty. I went to PT this afternoon and promptly declared to my trusty PT that he would finally get his wish of examining my ankle when it was tired due to the aforementioned packing activities. So onward we went with the usual PT events and he began the not fun scar massage during which he declared that my ankle was extrememly tight. Um, I think I told him that, but apparently it was really stiff. The patient after me noshowed, so I got the fun of a full hours worth of scar massage/ desentization. Then to top it all off when he heard that I had more packing and box carrying to do, we decided that I shouldn't do my exercises. Yikes. What is PT without my hour plus of serious resistance craziness on wobble shoes. So, while Lefty is doing his job helping me get ready for the remodel- Normal it is not.

Packing

My kitchen is falling apart and has been pretty much since I moved in. Remember those projects I spoke of before that were too big for me to do alone- well this is the big one. My gas range requires a flame thrower to light, my oven is circa 1975 and my microwave is the kind that you are afraid to stand in front of because of the fear of radiation exposure and thank you very much I have had enough radiation this year. Plus, my cabinets are falling apart. So, the kitchen is being torn apart and rebuilt, and on the order of while there is a work crew in your house you might as well replace the flooring, fix the lighting etc.... You get the point.
So, for the past four days I have been packing up all of my belongings and storing them in the guest room, which is the only room in my house that will have no work done in this first phase. That is four days of boxing things up and carrying most of it upstairs to the guest room. Yikes, It is a good thing that Lefty is getting strong again because this has been no joke. Oh yeah, and becuase of all of the work I am moving back to my parents house while they go on vacation. SO, pack, pack, pack like a little worker bee I go.

I am excited about having this work done, but at the same time it is so overwhleming. When I go into those big home improvement stores to buy things I have to fight the urge to vomit. Yet, still I was so happy last night thinking that it was the last night I would have to pull out my trusty flame thrower to boil water. It will be worth it, right?

Happy Halloween

This weekend we celebrated Halloween at my friends fantastic party in the Hollywood Hills. I got dressed up as a pirate and set my mind for a party, and let me tell you we had a great time. The Hollywood Witches always decorate their house to the nth degree for Halloween and so we were celebrating in style. I was even able to wear a real pair of boots and dance for hours. Of course, Lefty rebelled towards the end which was when I looked at my friend who I had driven and declared we must leave- now. A little bit of ice and a good night sleep and all was good. It is so nice to feel like I can do almost anything and I don't have to worry so much about Lefty anymore. Yet one more victory.

A small sample of the decorations



Our hostess- the peacock


Little Red Riding Hood, the Pirate's mistress and the Peacock

One Year

My first surgery was one year ago today. One year, 365 days, 52 weeks, no matter how you slice it is still just one year. I started this journey thinking I was having minor surgery, but alas- not so minor. Yet here I am looking back over the past year, and large chunks of it are a blur but there is good stuff too. I laugh when I think about my stubborn climb to the 87th row of the Coliseum on crutches, my dad pushing me around New York in that hideous wheelchair while I insisted on helping to wheel the thing to feel like I had some control and did something active each day. My many friends traveling from near and far to visit me and support me through rough times. The hours that I spent absorbed in a puzzle of VanGogh’s rendition of Irises, which was sheer insanity. My journey through physical therapy, finally in its ultimate chapter, is definitely a blur of hard work and slow results. The daily trips to that surreal land that was radiation. That darkest time of all- late April and early May, during which time I was saved from complete insanity by my dear friend V-L coming to stay with me. Diving in Hawaii, or really any moment from that trip which is all so happily clear in my mind. Becoming a doctor again and discovering that I still do like my job. These are just a few of the images in my head from the last year, there are so many more things I want to forget and things I never well, but still it is all history now.

I think that I am grateful for not having known what I was in for when I started because I would have been more afraid. As it is, I have taken everything as it came and tried my best to deal and move on. I sometimes reread what I wrote here and I am surprised to discover how much I don’t remember and yet how much I do. I can still laugh and cry with myself. I am glad that I have kept this record of what I have been through. Even if few read it, it is good for me to have put my thoughts down. There are many things I don’t write about, but mostly my thoughts on my journey are here- some good, some not so good, some highly random. Thanks for reading, thanks for traveling this road with me and especially thanks for all your support. It has been one heck of a year.

Update

Thank you so much to those who have checked in about Arrowhead. It sounds as though things are looking up and our house should be safe, but the devestation from all of these fires is mind boggling. I feel terrible for all of those who have lost their homes and/ or remain uncertain about their status. It is all crazy.

Here is a recent map of the fires up at Arrowhead.

Sorry I don't know how to annotate this picutre, but our place is essentially just above the "E" in Fire.

Haven't We Been Here Before?

California is burning again! I sit here watching the news hoping to find out what is going on in the regions that effect people I care about, yet the scope of these fires is so overwhelming. There are fires everywhere, it really is insane. They are saying that many are arson, I just don't get it. I think maybe there are some crimes for which stoning should still be the proper punishment, or maybe burning at the stake. People are losing their homes, their memories, and even their lives.

My brother's in-laws have been evacuated from their home in San Diego and are staying with my brother. I have no info on the state of their home, although I am praying for them. There are many others at risk. It is so eerily familiar as 4 years ago, I watched a similar series of news reports as the fire was burning up the San Bernadino mountains threatening my beloved Lake Arrowhead. Tonight, that fear is recurring. There are fires in Lake Arrowhead. I have written before about what Arrowhead means to me, but I am not sure that I can ever actually describe what that place has meant to my life. My parents home is currently not so threatened, but they have limited personnel to fight this fire, and fires in the mountains are dangerous. The thought of it burning makes me sick to my stomach. I can only have faith.

Who says California doesn't have seasons. We do- fire season, flood season, earthquake season, smog season. It may not be famous for its colors or weather, but seasons nonetheless. Please pray for those whose homes are threatened or have already been lost and for those who are fighting these fires.